Stutter

Autotelic - Dahilan

I feel my chest tighten - my lips slam shut and I feel something bottled up inside my throat. I struggle to take a breath and try to open my mouth again, but a gasp only escapes me. I think of fish and the endless way their mouth opens and closes; I feel myself getting red in the face. I see you furrow your eyes in worry, and I try to communicate by my eyes that this is okay, that this happens. I know I fail.

This is how it feels. This is how it feels to be stopped by your own body, to feel yourself powerless to explain.

This.