Numbers I

NP: Signal Fire, Johnoy Danao's Cover

Numbers I

1. My phone has ran out of juice. A part of me wants to charge it, but a  part of me doesn't. Knowing the phone can't ring is better than hearing the phone unringing. Unringing - is that a real word? I mean it like the absence of a ring, this word unringing. But somehow, it does not feel like the absence of a ring, but rather the undoing of it, or the not doing. The reverse.

2. I told myself these shoes can cross distances - seven-year leagues, depths of nineteen fathoms, walls of fifteen feet. What I failed to realize though was the soles, the strings and the cloth that binds them all together, are at the mercy of all the things inside.

3. Sobrang gulo. Masyadong maraming linya ang umiikot ikot. Mga takot masaktan, mga takot manakit. Sa isang perpektong mundo marahil, nabubuhay ang mga masasayang katha ng ating isipan, hindi dahil sa kanilang paraan ng pamumuhay, kung hindi sa paraan ng kanilang pakikitungo.

4. The other day, I was at the university, getting my tickets for an ceremony I neither wish to attend or discuss. I sat at one of the benches overlooking the main building and thought about how fragile everything is. I could've sat underneath one of those trees inside the lane - i could never tell which one was ours - but it felt wrong, somehow. Like if i did that, it would only be a perverse imitation of what had happened. I didn't stay to catch the sunrise, nor the lighting of the trees. For now, it was enough that I was near that place, not within it.

5. I have a brother who is so disorganized, he always forgets to flush the toilet. One day, as i come home early from a day outside, I peer inside the bowl and see the edges of a book, the silhouette of a cloth, and a castle made of popsickle sticks - his project for the last grading. I see all these things and possibly more - all of the things he wants to flush away.

6. Zippers. It's funny how they work, and it's strange how people haven't found a way to incorporate it into the human body.



NP: Tom Misch & Carmody - So Close

Right. It's been a few weeks since the end of the exam, and i passed. Can't say i'm pleased, can't say i'm not. It just is. Right now i'm looking at jobs, or the smattering of ones i find, and it feels like nothing has changed, but at the same time a lot has.[Proofread. HAHA ano ba, past daryl :))] I had this interview recently where this interviewer was asking me to develop a test so casually, like i do it all the time. Hnggh. There was this other one who asked me (as i applied for an L&D post) why i went and grabbed a license. Jeez I don't know lady, i don't know.

I don't know what i was expecting, really. I feel like i'm in limbo again, but this time the pressure is more real, yknow? I can feel a lot of people breathing heavily on my neck looking forward to what i'll do next - most heavily a person i don't even relatively see - so it's quite a lot to take in. The additional letters tacked to the end of my name feels more like a paddle in a sea of heavy, heavy liquid. I can't use it to row, so i might as well whack myself on the head with it.