and what a year it has been.
2016 was a time of change and growth. Around January or February last year, I wrote in my planner the things that I wanted to do. I'm pretty stoked to see that I've managed to at least tick off all of them - join an eco-group, enroll in a japanese class, travel and enroll myself in further studies.
It's been a challenging and rewarding year, guys.
The year has left a lot of us tired and struggling. Looking back, there were a lot of times that I had trouble finding where I was. Dislocated, more like. Floating, due to the stressors of the world and of life in general.
You miss a lot of places. You miss a lot of people. It's weird. Sometimes you go back to places past, and you recalibrate, Sometimes life hits you in the guts, and all of your insecurities, your questions and your doubt bubble up to the surface again. You're left with no choice but to... well, struggle. You readjust your settings and you struggle against the tide.
I'm not saying that the struggle is something that we should avoid though. I think we should go for it. One of my constants once said that the struggle is sort of the process, and that there is a reason why we should believe in it.
She's right. The struggle makes you grow. It makes you strong, and my God. What a struggle the past year has been. I can't count how many times I've questioned myself over and over, nor can I count how many times I've tried to make the leap, but fell back a few paces from where I wanted to land.
The struggle doesn't end. It's always there, and I think at some point, you learn to live with it. It's hard at first. But thats why you have your constants - the people that makes the struggle a bit easier to bear. They help you get anchored, bury your feet back to the ground.
Sometimes, your feet even leave the ground.
Or take you right above the clouds...
To places you've never been before...
Or to old places that now hold a different meaning...
Or even to new places within the old.
It was such an intense year. Right now, I feel like all of these things - both the good and the bad, had a hand in leading me to where I am right now. I think I already said that for me, it was a year of growth - honing my skills and trying to grow into the life I wanted for myself. I learned a lot from 2015 but 2016 was real, yo. I'd like to think that I'm starting to grip the wheel more fully, that I'm starting to get my shit together.
Around this time last year, I had decided that 2016 will be my time to Build and Create - a sort of call for personal development, yknow to build and create the self I want to be. I look back now on what had happened, and wala lang. In more ways than one, I did, didn't I? For that, I have a lot to be thankful for, an enormous list of people to appreciate for growing along with me, for spurring on the change and for being there when it did. It feels incredible.
I have yet to sit down and reflect on a theme for 2017, but I'm in no rush. The best is yet to come.
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