Showing posts with label Series. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Series. Show all posts

11/19/2015

Rant


IV

Your door is closed.

It is wooden, but hollow
Even if it opens, and you walk outside
Nobody feels welcome
But everybody shivers, scared

I knock for the door to fall
but only the skin on my knuckles do

I watch the skin fall, and the blood follow after
Raw wounds that need time to heal
A perfect circle-shaped break in my skin
A fitting ring for my soul to feel
The hollow beat of my heart
  - of jagged stone against cold tin

V

I am trying.

Sometimes I just want to take it all away. To uproot myself from the world, tearing out the roots.

I am my own adhesive - I can take away everything, wipe it away. Clean. Empty. Start all over again.

I want to jettison myself away. Jetsam. Debris from a larger whole. I often wondered how it feels to escape, and now I wonder when.

Separate, then blur out the lines.

Nakakapagod na.

8/17/2015

30DC Day 2: How Have You Changed in The Past Two Years?

Be the Song, Foy Vance

This picture taken two years ago probably sums up what I had been like back then: awkward and inappropriate. Sinong pumikiiiiit?!

F tells me I've changed. She says I've adopted a new kind of voice, one which I use regularly in my work. This is probably true. It takes a certain kind of pitch to talk the unassuming, and this pitch is as low as hell.

8/16/2015

Revisiting a Challenge

Be the Song, Foy Vance

In my previous blog, I once tried a 30 Day Writing Challenge. I wasn't able to complete it though, because of... reasons. 

Anyway, here is me, completing what my self wasn't able to do. Naks. 

1. Weird things you do when you’re alonge.
2. How have you changed in the past 2 years?
3. What kind of person attracts you.
4. What you wear to bed.
5. 5 things that irritate you about the opposite sex/same sex.
6. The person you like and why you like them.
7. Your opinion on cheating on people.
8. Something you’re currently worrying about.
9. Your last kiss.
10. Your views on drugs and alcohol.
11. Your currently relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
12. Things you want to say to an ex.
13. A date you would love to go on.
14. Something disgusting you do.
15. The best things to happen to you this week.
16. 3 things you are proud of about your personality.
17. Things that make you scared.
18. Disrespecting parents.
19. Something that never fails to make you feel better.
20. The last argument you had.
21. Something you can’t seem to get over.
22. 10 things about you people don’t really expect.
23. Something you always think “what if…” about
24. Things you want to say to 5 different people.
25. 10 ways to win your heart.
26. Your religious beliefs.
27. Talk about your siblings.
28. The month you were happiest this year why.
29. A picture of yourself.
30. What changed this month and what you hope will happen next month.

*whew.

11/30/2014

Numbers I

NP: Signal Fire, Johnoy Danao's Cover

Numbers I

1. My phone has ran out of juice. A part of me wants to charge it, but a  part of me doesn't. Knowing the phone can't ring is better than hearing the phone unringing. Unringing - is that a real word? I mean it like the absence of a ring, this word unringing. But somehow, it does not feel like the absence of a ring, but rather the undoing of it, or the not doing. The reverse.

2. I told myself these shoes can cross distances - seven-year leagues, depths of nineteen fathoms, walls of fifteen feet. What I failed to realize though was the soles, the strings and the cloth that binds them all together, are at the mercy of all the things inside.

3. Sobrang gulo. Masyadong maraming linya ang umiikot ikot. Mga takot masaktan, mga takot manakit. Sa isang perpektong mundo marahil, nabubuhay ang mga masasayang katha ng ating isipan, hindi dahil sa kanilang paraan ng pamumuhay, kung hindi sa paraan ng kanilang pakikitungo.

4. The other day, I was at the university, getting my tickets for an ceremony I neither wish to attend or discuss. I sat at one of the benches overlooking the main building and thought about how fragile everything is. I could've sat underneath one of those trees inside the lane - i could never tell which one was ours - but it felt wrong, somehow. Like if i did that, it would only be a perverse imitation of what had happened. I didn't stay to catch the sunrise, nor the lighting of the trees. For now, it was enough that I was near that place, not within it.

5. I have a brother who is so disorganized, he always forgets to flush the toilet. One day, as i come home early from a day outside, I peer inside the bowl and see the edges of a book, the silhouette of a cloth, and a castle made of popsickle sticks - his project for the last grading. I see all these things and possibly more - all of the things he wants to flush away.

6. Zippers. It's funny how they work, and it's strange how people haven't found a way to incorporate it into the human body.


6/29/2014

Nagsaza 2014, pt. 4: Worth It

Daniela Andrade's Cover of Bill Murray by Phantogram

HOURLIES


3:00 PM: We enlisted the help of a friendly local to come and pick us up at around this time and guide us through the mountain, but he was nowhere to be found. We were beginning to get restless; if we wanted even a smack of light to help us cook dinner, we'd better get moving soon. 


4:00 PM: Got tired of waiting, and decided to try our luck anyway. We trudged up the soft sand and up to the mountain waiting ahead of us. 

6/18/2014

Nagsaza 2014, pt. 3: Morning Connection



HOURLIES




7:00 PM: By now the sun was finally gone, and the only sources of light were the smattering of bonfires littering the beach. There were also a few tents lucky or experienced enough to bring lamps. I was feeling a bit envious, when all of a sudden, Jani whips out this huge foldable lamp. Nope, sorry i'm mistaken. She whips out this huge foldable table lamp. Talk about prepared.

8:00 PM: I was pretty zoning out by now. The camp site had ran out of pans to lend us, so we ended up cooking the liempo with the pot. It was difficult, as i think some oil ended up on the side of it, and the fire was climbing everywhere. Smoke was everywhere, and i half expected the locals to just scratch their heads, shrug and say "Kami na lang po mam, baka masunog pa ang campsite."

8:01 PM: Shan, bless this beautiful soul, managed to work some magic on the pot. It was burnt a bit, but it was still amazing to eat that shit with some rice. Dinner on the beach, score.

By now everyone was pretty tired of bumming on the beach and runnning on reserve energy to light up the bonfire. We washed up (which took forever, on account of having only 2 bathrooms and a dozen other tents and campers) and crawled into our tents. Our was a sand filled cave with a hard as fuck floor, but i was too tired to care. I slept like a log.

5:30 AM. New day. I kept on waking up intermittently during the night to our camp neighbor's drunkenness. Thankfully though, i managed to scrape a few hours of sleep. I crawled out of the tent with some difficulty, as i thought i pulled a muscle sleeping (the floor was crazy hard) and almost ran into Fess' legs. She bade me goodnight and crawled back to sleep. I stood up and took in the beach air. Everything was bathed in blue, with one end of the beach dipped in the honey yellow of the morning. The mountains threw shadows at each other and the sea quietly beckoned with gentle, but consistent waves.

Morning.
Curled up and half asleep by the lawn chair was Shan. We chatted for a bit before we were joined by Jani, and then by Fess. We decided to rouse Bren to walk for a bit and enjoy the air at the far end of the beach - the one that looked like it was dipped in honey and connected the river and the sea. 

6/07/2014

Nagsaza 2014, pt. 2: Contained Atmosphere

NP:  Lotte Milan, Valentine

Hourlies



pundaquit kids


11:40 PM By now we've settled into the dark of the bus right along the aisle. That reflector vest kuya lied - there were no seats left. We couldn't exactly leave the bus either, as we ended up right at the group of seats at the end due to our remarkable running prowess. We were trapped with a shit load of groceries and our bags. Since we opted to ride from the Pasay station, it meant that we would be riding through EDSA Traffic on a rainy Friday night while standing on the aisle. I decided to sit, crossed leg (or Indian sit, as what we say. Funny how an indian sits, eh?) right there smack on the aisle to get some much needed sleep and rest.

12:40~ish AM: Finally crawled out of the hell that is EDSA. I looked around at the windows and was reasonably pleased; there were no billboards or tall buildings. I had left the city.

1:30~ish AM: Bus stopped for a 15-minute stopover at this pitstop. We immediately alighted to stretch our legs, as it had not been an easy journey. Sure, we were sitting on the aisle, but the air and floor was cold and the space miniscule. But gdmn, who cares. We were moving.

6/03/2014

Nagsaza 2014, pt. 1: Leaving MNL

NP: The 1975, Chocolate

Hourlies

6:00 PM: got off work. trudged off to nearby convenience store to buy some needed things. 

6:30 PM: left supermarket with a ton of canned food, chips, bread and candies. Went back to my desk to breathe a bit and to get my things. Off to nagzasa, beybeh!


6:40 PM: couldn't find a taxi. 


7:40 PM: still no go. 


8:00 PM: FINALLY. Arrived at the meet-up place later than expected - met up with Shan and Jani, both with luggages the size of ships. Shan left to do some errands and entrusted her things to us. 


8:30 PM: Left the meet-up place. Cabs weren't willing to ferry us to the bus station because, in their words, "malapit lang". Jani and I looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and with metaphysical curses directed at the universe, started trudging to the Victory Liner bus station.